The Color of Cold and Ice Read online

  When it was Mark’s turn, he talked about how he had first discovered The Iceman on some documentary. After spending some time alone in the cold, the remembrance came back to him. So, he Googled him, read the book Becoming the Iceman, and found out about his online class. He told his brother-in-law, who was a doctor, and who by coincidence had his own experience in the cold. They both started taking the online class together. He said he was to report back to his brother-in-law. He may want to write a paper. The Iceman seemed pleased at the prospect.

  The rest of the room took their turn and then The Iceman said, “Time to get serious.” At the same time, his speech was light and humorous. “You can do it, but don’t force it.” Then he said in an exhilarated voice, “Are we ready?”

  Everyone nodded and shouted out their readiness to obey his every command in hearty agreement. Then he swung up his arm, gave a thumbs up, and voiced in strength his infamous, “Right on.”

  Everyone removed their shoes and socks. The men stripped down to their shorts, and Mark followed suit. The two women were wearing shorts and something like bathing suit tops. Mark strode outside onto the snow-covered ground with them. They were given what Mark assumed was some type of yoga exercise or martial arts exercise and were told to hold it barefoot in the snow for twenty minutes. This surprised Mark as he thought the breathing would come first, since that is what he started with online, but maybe The Iceman wanted to introduce the group right off to the cold. First, they were to eliminate the lactic acid from their legs. This was where the inner fire came in, the name of his website. This they were to do with their minds. The mind could control everything, even prevent and get rid of disease. Why did John want this? He would be out of a job. But, back to the task at hand. Think away the pain. Mark concentrated on feeling good. He thought of Em and of seeing her back in New York. He was going to make it happen. He thought of all the energy Molly, Little John and Chad had. He thought of when he was a child and how playing in the snow for hours didn’t bother him. In fact, it was something he looked forward to. He only had to train his mind to think this way again.

  Their teacher formed them into a circle. It was like a game, an initiation. The Iceman was standing in an awkward horse pose and instructed them to do the same. He began to sing, and everyone started to sing with him. The song kept his mind off the pins and needles shooting through his body. Mark felt as if his body, especially his feet were metamorphosing into one big chunk of dry ice. Numbness ensued. But, like in the park, when he used his power of determination, the pins and needles turned into warm pellets striking his soles. He actually felt warm. His body had settled into the awkwardness of the pose like an old friend. For a moment, a feeling of elation came over him. He had transcended his body.

  He looked around at everyone, singing, jumping, playing, as if he was observing a dream. He slowly came out of the pose and did likewise. There was a sensation of power in the control he had over his body. His feet were still planted firmly on the ground, but he felt as if he had levitated. He heard The Iceman’s voice saying the next time they would be able to even double their time.

  They went inside and settled down on the yoga mats. The Iceman did his cross-legged yoga pose, the one highly skilled yogis did. Rather than attempt it, Mark eased himself down into a horizontal position. Most settled into a simple cross-legged position.

  All those times he thought of doing something like this, and now, he was, halfway across the world. And, halfway across the world, he met Em. He would find her again. The old Greek man had brought him luck after all.

  Chapter 36

  Sybil and Emerald

  * * *

  “WE’RE BACK!” CHAD shouted as he and his mom entered the Java Bean, Chad running through the maze of tables.

  “Slow down,” said Emerald.

  He bypassed the line at the counter and came to a quick halt in front of Josh, who was carrying out a new box of cups from the back.

  “I’m sorry, he’s excited,” Em said grabbing him.

  “It’s okay, to be expected,” he said to Em. He looked down at Chad. “Why the downcast face?”

  “Where’s Aunt Syb?” he asked.

  “She’s at home, little buddy.”

  “Mom?”

  “Yes, Chad, I heard.” She shifted her attention to Josh, holding her rambunctious child to her side. “Sorry, he’s so full of energy after the trip. He slept on the plane. Sybil isn’t working today? She always works on Fridays.”

  “No, she took the day off.”

  “Oh, well. Okay.” She looked around. “You hired a new girl?”

  “Yes, that’s Heather. And, another guy working part time, Franco. He’ll be here later.”

  “Wow, business must have boomed since we were away. That’s good. We thought we would stop here first to see Syb, but I’m kind of beat. Jet lag is beginning to hit. I think we’ll go home. I’ll call Syb to tell her we made it back okay.”

  “Okay, see you later,” Josh said.

  “Come on, Chad. Let’s go get you a bath, and Mom wants to call Aunt Syb.”

  * * *

  “No, no, I’ll come over. I want to hear about your trip. I especially want all the details about Mark. You said little in your email,” Syb said on the phone.

  “There was little to say.”

  “I’m sure that’s not the case.”

  * * *

  The first thing Em noticed was her sister’s pallid complexion. Her clothes hung on her, and her hair looked as though it hadn’t seen a comb. Was that a touch of gray? The lighting was playing tricks. She appeared worried, more so than usual.

  “Syb, has something happened? Are you okay?”

  “Yes, fine, just a little anemic.”

  “Anemic? You look absolutely white. Here.” She patted the chair. “Sit down. Put your feet up,” she said, moving the ottoman over. Emerald pulled a throw from the couch and placed it over Sybil.

  “Don’t fuss.”

  “Why not? You deserve some fussing. Haven’t you always fussed over Chad and me? Josh said you hired two new people.”

  “Well, the business is doing okay now, and there is no need for me to be there every minute. Clark suggested it. Franco can do most of the accounting. He’s studying business at Columbia. And, I was hoping you might train Heather a bit. She’s all gung-ho on learning the trick to latte art. Do you mind?”

  “No, of course not. I’ll be glad to show her. Are you sure it’s only anemia? You would tell me if it were something else, wouldn’t you? We’re sisters. You’ve always told me everything.”

  “There is really nothing to tell. Anyway, first, you tell me what is going on with you,” Syb said.

  “Okay, I know I may not be the intuitive one of the family, but I can tell when something is amiss.”

  “You are more intuitive than what you think you are. Most artists are.”

  “I don’t know if you could call me an artist. I haven’t painted anything in ages.”

  “You got your brush and paints out of storage. You will. Tell me about the Van Gogh Museum. Is Chad already asleep? I’m so disappointed. He didn’t rush out to meet me.”

  “I’m sorry. He wanted to see both you and Clark. He was excited to tell you about the trip. He brought you back presents. He’ll give them to you tomorrow. He had a bath before you got here. He watched a bit of television and fell asleep. He slept on the plane, but I guess the trip wore him out more than I thought. Syb, even your voice sounds lethargic. Please tell me what is wrong.”

  “Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

  “No, there is definitely something you are not telling me.”

  “Em.” She took a deep breath before letting the words roll from her mouth. “I have cancer.”

  “Oh no. Syb?”

  “They detected it early. Now, I just have to decide on what treatment I want. I have a doctor I trust. I hired new people at the coffee shop to alleviate the worry of running it. Everyon
e there is quite capable. It’s in good hands. I’m in good hands.”

  “Oh, Syb.” Emerald brushed back a tear. “What kind of cancer? And what is Clark saying?”

  “Colon. And I haven’t told him.”

  “What?”

  “I know. I will.” She held Em’s hand. “At first I thought I was pregnant. Right now, he just thinks I’m anemic and am too worried and stressed.”

  Emerald reached for her sister and gave her a hug. “Syb, I’m so sorry. I know you wanted children. And you do worry too much. You’ve worried about me for the longest time. It’s time to stop. Chad and I are doing fine.”

  Emerald held Sybil for a full minute before letting go. She reached for tissues from the side table, giving one to her sister and taking one herself.

  “Well, it’s just not going to happen. I don’t mean the worry part. I mean the baby part. Please let’s talk about meeting Mark. It will cheer me up.”

  “You don’t know that you won’t have children. Be optimistic. Isn’t that what you always told me? Besides, you’re only thirty-eight. There is still time, time to get well, time to have a child, time to start life anew. Look at me. I am.”

  “Yes, look at you.”

  “Syb, you have to stop worrying about everything. That’s the first road to recovery.”

  “Yes, that is what Dr. Gray said.”

  “Well, he’s right.”

  “Easier said than done. Like I said, let’s talk about this guy you met. That would greatly get my mind off all the other stuff.”

  Em put a brave smile on for her sister. “Hmm, I don’t know what to say.”

  “You’re attracted to him? Right?”

  “Oh,” she looked down, blushing. “Well, yes. It was instantaneous. I told you in the email that he was the same guy that was in the Java Bean that morning, the one who left his key. But.”

  “But?”

  “But, that’s all. I just ran into him. At the Van Gogh Museum. We exchanged niceties as anyone from the same town might do after running into each other in a foreign country.”

  “That was it? There has to be more,” Syb questioned. She was so sure about the dream.

  “That was it. He was headed off to a workshop in Poland.”

  “Poland?”

  “Yes. Weird, huh?”

  “You will meet him again.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Trust me, Em.”

  “Oh, Syb. I really want to.” I felt so comfortable with him. I know we only saw each other briefly. But we clicked, or at least I clicked with him. I think I sensed that in him, too. I don’t know. I’m just not sure. I think Chad liked him, too.”

  “I saw it in a dream,” Syb said, her face finally loosening itself from some of the tension, as her lips turned upward into a knowing smile.

  “Yes, you mentioned the dream. It was the one where I was in Amsterdam, right?”

  “Yes, but I left out a good deal of it.”

  “Well, tell me. Maybe if I know my fate I can plan, at least know what to expect.”

  “You were in Amsterdam, as I told you before. I saw him in the dream, Mark.”

  “You saw Mark?”

  “Yes, very clearly. Of course, I didn’t know who he was then. I saw his face. You were together in Amsterdam. He was swimming in the canal, in icy water. I was there. I don’t understand that part. Then later, you were together again. He was singing a song for you.”

  “Oh, my. A song for me? No one has ever sang a song to me. The workshop he is taking is about how to adapt to cold weather, about how to control your immune system. Maybe that is why he was swimming in the canal.”

  Syb’s eyes grew wide.

  “What is it?” Em asked.

  “It’s just that my doctor, Dr. Gray, the new one I told you about, well, he is recommending that I try this course. It’s about meditation, breath work, and some yoga poses, and the cold. I don’t remember the name. He wrote it down for me. So far, all I’ve done is walk barefoot in the park.”

  “Syb, that sounds like what he described. But I think you are supposed to walk barefoot in the snow. And take ice baths.”

  “Ice baths? Dr. Gray said cold showers, but it’s all explained in this notebook he gave me. Clark has studied it more than me. He’s been great. If Dr. Gray had said take ice baths, I would have been out of there in a hurry. I get so cold these days. But he said all of these would help me get over the cold. And he recommended iron and vitamins.”

  “Are you warm now? Are the vitamins helping?”

  “Yes, yes, I’m fine. They are and actually walking barefoot in the park did help. Not at first, but afterward I warmed up. Dr. Gray also referred to it as earthing.”

  “Earthing? Possibly Dr. Gray wants you to try something a different person is recommending. Mark is taking a workshop under someone he called The Iceman.”

  “You, know, that’s him. I’m sure of it,” Syb said.

  “Wow, this is so incredible. Mark talked about how his brother-in-law was doing it online. His name is John, and he’s a doctor. Syb, what’s Dr. Gray’s first name?”

  “Oh, my god, Em, that’s him.”

  “What do you think of Dr. Gray?”

  “I feel really comfortable with him.”

  “I’m glad,” Em said. “Just think. The doctor you are seeing is Mark’s brother-in-law. Meeting him in Amsterdam after seeing him in the coffee shop that morning. This whole thing is surreal. Was there any more to your dream?”

  “Not that one.”

  “There was another one?”

  “Yes, but first tell me exactly how you feel about Mark.”

  She sighed with a smile on her face. “How can I know? I only talked to him at the museum.”

  “You’ve heard of love at first sight. That was the case with you and Michael, right?”

  “Yes.” Emerald’s elation turned to sadness. “This is the first time I haven’t thought of Michael. I feel so guilty.”

  “No, no, you shouldn’t feel guilty. I’m sure Michael is smiling and happy for you.”

  “You’re right. I know he would want me to be happy. I mean, I know, if the situation were reversed, I would want it for him.”

  “See. It’s fate. How do you know that Michael isn’t somehow arranging things from above? And you say he’s good with Chad. How does Chad feel about him?”

  “They seemed to get on well together. Chad wasn’t shy around him.”

  “Do you think he would make a good father?”

  “Gosh, Syb, aren’t we jumping ahead of ourselves, here?”

  “I don’t think so. You’re in love. It’s written all over you.”

  “Well, he has to be in love with me, too. Besides, how can I be in love. I’ve only seen him twice. I know very little about him. Do you really think love at first sight could happen twice? Anyway, I know he doesn’t have a very good job. He works in a record store, and he is currently living with his sister and brother-in-law, the doctor. He kind of let that slip when he was talking about the course they were taking. I don’t think he meant to.”

  “You shouldn’t let his circumstances deter you.”

  “Oh, I’m not. Well, not really.”

  “Well, I think they will improve,” Syb said. “I feel it intuitively, that is if my intuition can be trusted. I was certainly wrong about being pregnant.”

  “You know all of this and you haven’t even met him?”

  “The dream was so clear,” Syb said.

  “And don’t give up hope. You could still get pregnant. What about this other dream?”

  “Maybe I shouldn’t tell you.”

  “You’ve started it. You have to tell me now,” Em insisted.

  “How do you feel about twins?”

  Emerald’s face turned ashen. “Well, that is a shock. Mark said Amsterdam was a side trip. He was there to see a distant relative, a man who had lost his twin sister at Auschwitz. Do you think this could have something to do with your dream?”

>   “Hmm, maybe so,” Sybil said.

  “We’ll see. But in the meantime, I’m going to help out in the coffee shop and help you in any way I can. You have to take it easy.”

  “I am tired. I think I’ll walk back home via the park. Take my shoes off, feel the grass. It’s actually nice.”

  Emerald kissed her. “Have fun on the grass.”

  “Clark and I will see you and Chad tomorrow.”

  “He’s excited to show you what he brought back for you. And, Syb,” she held her arm, “you are going to beat this.”

  “Em, I feel it. I promise — I will be positive.”

  “And you have to tell Clark.”

  “I know.” She paused. “I’m thinking about going to see Mom.”

  “You know, I think that would be good.” She gave her sister a stern look. “Tell Clark, Syb.”

  “I will. Just don’t say anything. I will let you know when I do.”

  “Okay. I’m here for you. Clark is certainly here for you. There is nothing that that man wouldn’t do for you.”

  “I know.”

  They kissed each other.

  Chapter 37

  Sybil and Clark

  * * *

  SYBIL DISCARDED HER socks and shoes, stuffing them into her bag, placing her cracked heels on the crisp grass. Her feet looked worn, plain. Her thoughts took a detour from the cool, damp grass as she thought about her mom. Dr. Gray had emailed about support groups, for both she and Clark. He was of the assumption that she had told him about the cancer. When she read the word support, her first thought was her mom. More and more, ever since the pronouncement of cancer, she had been thinking of Florida, going to see her mom. While Dr Gray was emphasizing the benefits of the cold, her mind drifted towards warm, sandy beaches. Standing on the balcony of her mother’s condominium looking out over the ocean was becoming more and more appealing to her. Her mother had an extra bedroom, just waiting for her. She looked back down at her feet. A coat of nail polish might help. Never in her life had she had a pedicure. Why not? Because she thought such things were frivolous.